Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
