Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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