Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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