yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
