The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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