it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
