I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
