I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
