Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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