in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize