Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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