The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
