I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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