Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
