Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
