i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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