imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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