Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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