i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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