Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
