3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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