I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
