Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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