So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
