Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
