Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
