Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
