I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
