I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize