Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
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Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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