do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So much rum. So many feels.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
