I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
