He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
