Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
