So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
