i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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