I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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