YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
