We're facebook friends in real life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm like, not good at living.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
