He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize