just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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