he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
