I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
