you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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