i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
