FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
