My boss' voice literally gives me gas
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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