Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
