she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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