and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
