Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i drank out of a bidet.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
