So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
