Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
