these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
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both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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