You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I touched a dick in church today
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
