is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed