i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.