dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick