Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
