Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
