Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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