I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
a search helicopter?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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