Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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