that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
