My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
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Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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