I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
