Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
