I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
